How to declutter When Your Partner Isn’t On Board ~ Simple tips to cut through the clutter!

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How do I declutter when my partner isn’t on board?

How do I get my partner to declutter? 

What do I do when he tells me he likes me in everything I want to throw away? 

These are all questions I get asked on a regular basis.

It seems that a lot of us “declutterers” and organised people live with people who will not throw anything away. And talking from experience there’s nothing more frustrating!

So what do we do when we live with someone who just won’t simplify?

Throw away their stuff and hope they don’t notice?

Nag them consistently until they comply?

Argue constantly about their clutter? 

Of course, none of these is the answer although I bet most of us have tried them in vain!

My favourite  decluttering and tidying guru Marie Kondocovers this very subject in her book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying and  Spark Joy: An Illustrated Guide to the Japanese Art of Tidying

Her theory is that if we just concentrate on our own “stuff” we will soon realise that other people’s stuff is not the real problem.

So, I tried it and guess what? It became totally apparent that his stuff was a tiny proportion of the clutter in our house.

Marie guides us through our clutter step by step working through every single possession we own in the following order:

  1.  Clothes,
  2.  Miscellaneous,
  3.  Paperwork
  4. Then, finally sentimental.

She tells us to pile everything on the bed and hold each item if it brings you joy you keep it if it doesn’t, you don’t,  it’s as simple as that.

how to declutter when your partner is not on board

I tried this method and became hooked very quickly

  • I discarded or donated approx 70 % of my stuff
  • I only kept approximately 30% of my original possessions.
  • Everything that made it into the 30% of keepers was things I loved and this, in turn, made me happy.
  • With that, came space, clarity, serenity and tidiness.
  • Everyone else in the house kept the empty spaces tidy and stopped piling stuff up.
  • No one left anything lying around
  • People in the house including the kids seemed to start to declutter their items without being asked to.
  • Toys only took a few minutes maximum to tidy up each evening before bed.
  • Cleaning the house was quicker and easier.

Getting your partner to declutter is simply not the way to tackle things at this stage, start on your stuff, move on to the kid’s stuff and watch how the whole house seems to get tidier as people notice the empty spaces!

To my surprise, I learnt that if I keep my stuff in order everyone else will too!

What do I do when he tells me to keep something I don’t wear because he likes it?

This is a tricky one and one only you can decide but my rules for this would be to donate if

  1. It doesn’t fit
  2. It is uncomfortable in any way.
  3. It doesn’t make you feel a million dollars
  4. It is old, worn and generally grotty
  5. you don’t love it!

I would never tell my spouse what to wear and I wouldn’t expect him to tell me what to wear so its an easy one for me! Luckily my other half doesn’t notice what goes in and out of my wardrobe so that helps!

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Clare has two children  aged 6 and 10 yrs old , when she’s not looking after the kids , blogging or organising you might find her running along the river  trying to spot Kingfishers,  whilst listening to an episode of the Archers.
In her spare time she reads an enormous amount of self help books, considers herself an animal lover, vegetarian and Buddhist.

 

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